It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize