My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We have started to decorate penises.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
my liver is dry heaving
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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