i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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