i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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