Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
