Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
