giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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