i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
