i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
