I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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