I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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