physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
