Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
