the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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