My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
