The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
