i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
