Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Pants are for mortals
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