You're my little dorito
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Congratulations! We have a period
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