is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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