Define "chronic" masturbator.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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