Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
