Who did Billy Mays play for?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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