I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We have so much sex to catch up on
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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