You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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