we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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