Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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