Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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