I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
