how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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