hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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