is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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