i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
