It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize