Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
