did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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