She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
