if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
