i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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