I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
