This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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