And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
