How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
