It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
