let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
