When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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