She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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