I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
