They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize