You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
