Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Non-Jews are for practice
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
