If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize