Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
