youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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