So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
