He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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