Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
3pm strippers are depressing
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
