Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
