Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
