I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
BRING THE BAGELS
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
