You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
