I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I touched a dick in church today
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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