im about as happy as oj after his trial
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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