I murdered the dance floor call the cops
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
why is half of my head shaved?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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