I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
