We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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