can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
