Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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