Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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