If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize