i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hippo gnu deer
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize