It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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