Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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