Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
third nipple confirmed
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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